The book store.

I've been challishing to re-read a particular book for some time now - "Pillars of the Earth" by Ken Follett. I have no idea what happened to my tattered high school copy.

I know what you're thinking - haven't I been so good at avoiding shtuss? It's true, I've been working on it. But I haven't gone so far as to stop reading secular books - not there yet. Sometimes at the end of the day, when my Chitas is finished and my kids are in bed, all I want to do is zone out and read.

I've had a hard week. Lots going on, lots of anxiety and crying. I had to have this book. I need to escape.

So I go to the library to find it, and of course they don't have it. I went to Barnes and Noble. I found the book, plus a People magazine! With all these weight loss success stories in it! I don't know why I find weight loss and make-overs so interesting, but I do. So of course I picked it up. You'll be proud of me, I did NOT read anything other than the weight loss stuff. I did not read any celebrity shenanigans, no no no. I did not buy it, either.

But what started me crying all over again (I cried on my way there) was a book called "Dignity Beyond Death; The Jewish Preparation for Burial" by Rochel U. Berman. The cover picture was very stark, it took me a moment to figure it out. It looked like a flower. Then I realized it was a shin-knot, a knot that is tied on the burial garments in the shape of that hebrew letter. I was transfixed. It was so simple, yet so compelling. It was hard for me to learn that knot, I always felt a little embarrassed. Maybe the chevra ladies would find me slow. The one thing about taharas, there's no room for ego. Ok, so maybe it takes me a little longer to figure out a special knot. But who cares? It's not about me. Anyway, I opened the book right to the part where she was talking about doing a tahara on a baby. That started me blubbering. Oh man, crying and crying - in Barnes and Noble. Oy va voy.

What a day! Time to escape to my new (old) book.