Sunday, June 17, 2007

Father's Day.

My mom likes to tell a story about my stepfather. They owned a dry-cleaning business together, and he'd flirt. Women would come in and he'd say, "hey, what time you getting off work?"

One of the ladies called his bluff. "No no," he stammered, waving his left hand in the air. "I'm married, see?" But she kept at it, making him more and more flustered.

My mom thinks this is the greatest story about her man. Oh, how faithful he was. Wasn't it funny he had to point out his wedding ring? Personally, I find the story disgusting. I feel my stepfather's lack of boundaries ruined my childhood, and I've never forgiven him for it.

I've gone to his grave many times. I've tried to talk it over with him. I'm an adult now, with my own flaws. I have my own menagerie of sins and pain. I don't understand why I simply cannot forgive him.

Is it because I consider this his problem, and not mine?

4 comments:

  1. No one likes to see their mom hurt - even though it sounds like she was handling herself just fine you may have been feeling a bit over protective.

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  2. Anonymous11:25 AM

    I don't know, but when you figure it out, PLEASE EMAIL ME so that I can get past my issues with my dad. Maven, I love how you help me think with each entry. Thank you!

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  3. my father has finally ceased to exist for me as 'a father'. it only took over 40 years Maven. Finally FINALLY I find myself completely indifferent to him. The anger is basically gone. I can't be responsible for his short comings. He is who he is as your step was who he was. Let the anger go when you can but it happens naturally, if ever. You can't really force it. Trust me on this.

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