Monday, October 30, 2006
Awhile ago, I filled out some shul paperwork. I was asked to write in my anniversary, and the birthdays for my family members. Unusual, I thought, but why not?
Today I got a phone call from a shul employee. "Hi Mrs. Maven. I see your anniversary is coming up, mazel tov. Would you like to sponsor a farbrengen, kiddush, or shul event in honor of that?"
What? I thought when they asked for that information it was for record-keeping. I thought it was kind of sweet, actually. I felt so proud filling in all our special days. I didn't know it was to hit me up for money. It makes me feel sad, and used. I'm not going to say anything, though. I wouldn't know who to talk to, and I'm not sure what I'd say. Likely, I'd just come off as a complainer.
And here's another thing. Chaya had a loose tooth - her very first. She kept bothering us to pull it out, but it just wasn't ready yet. We told her when it was ready to come out, we'd assist. So today she comes to me on the carpool line, grinning like a maniac. "Look!" She waved the tissue in her hand. "My tooth came out!" I was surprised. It sure wasn't ready to come out this morning! "How did that happen?" I asked. "My morah (teacher) pulled it out!"
This bothered me. What right is it of hers to pull my kids' tooth out? She's there to teach them, not do dental work. I mean, if she was going to do that, she could have at least called and asked. We, as her parents, were not going to remove the tooth just yet. It was not ready to come out!
I love this teacher. She's very experienced, and she's sweet with the children. And they're learning so much. Rivky will likely have her as a teacher in a couple of years. Plus, I see her quite often at shul. I'm not willing to risk my pleasant relationship with her to complain about "the tooth incident."
So there you have it: Two things that happened in my life today that I'm unwilling to speak up about. I guess that's why I have a blog.
Sigh.
Love, Maven @ 
6 Comments:
At 3:03 AM,
the sabra said…
dan lechaf zechus ring any bells?
and that IS weird n unsettling i would say bout the mazel tovs for money deal.
regardless, mazel tov on ur upcoming anniversary and on your childs first missin/gone/pulled/evaporated tooth :)
At 8:19 AM,
Stephanie said…
Unacceptable to touch your childs tooth..in regular school they are not even allowed to give an aspirin. But really what she did was basically illegal and should be brought up nicely so she knows she opens herself up to LAW SUITS or better yet..tell the admin of the school, without mentioning names..and they will probably write a memo, but do speak up about this maven.
Regarding the annivs, birthdays, etc..well, not a big deal and maybe many plan a celebration at the shul so with that I would not get upset *s*. Religious institutions (lol institutions!!) are a business first. When it comes to money maven..noone is nice!..lol..huggs ..stephanie
At 9:47 AM,
Wendy said…
I am bothered by the birthday/anniversary thing too - if it was just to send you wishes, it would be sweet. But to ask for more from you?
About the tooth - I agree with you on that one too. Not the teacher's place. She was probably just trying to help, but....
At 11:27 AM,
Anonymous said…
Maven Dear -
What world do you live in? Let me tell you a little story. I wanted to joing the shul. The fee is based on age. Over 50, single, $1800.00 plus you have to pledge $6000 within 4 years for their building fund. If you are 20-25 years of age, the fee is $18.00
That is just one story amongst tons that I have to tell. I am not a member of the frum community, but I would like to be active within the Jewish Community, yet it seems they don't want me, they want my money.
Also , here is a story that might interest you:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6101398.stm
Grateful Dead bassist has cancer
Lesh has urged fans to be organ donors since his own liver transplant
Phil Lesh, one of the founding members of rock group The Grateful Dead, has been diagnosed with prostate cancer.
Maybe you can speak up for yourself by telling my story to your Rabbi.
P.S.
Do you read your comments?
At 12:27 PM,
Maven said…
sabra: 100% right, dan l'chaf zechus.
stephanie: i hear what you are saying, but these are waters that have to be tread verrry carefully. she's a yiddisher bubbie and she just wanted to help. chaya WAS complaining alot about the tooth bothering her.
wendy: you're a level-headed lady, so i'm glad you're with me on these things. i was wondering if i was off in left field somewhere.
anon: YES, i read my comments! i love your feedback, and it gives me the encouragement to keep typing. i wish i got comments on every post! (this must tie into self-esteem issues.)
regarding phil - holy cow! i didn't know until you told me, and that's a bummer. i checked his site as soon as i read your comment, and it is indeed true. now he'll be hocking everybody at his shows to get tested for prostate cancer, just liked he hocked everybody to become organ donors. and that's all the organ pool needs, donations from a bunch of stoners. but i digress.
as for joining a synagogue, technically i think they'll cut you a break. you just have to be assertive (i'm not). you can always visit your local chabad shul, they are free. although i'm a chabadnik, MY shul isn't free because we're an established, frum community.
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