Sunday, October 30, 2005
Still at Mom's. Spending the night here before I drive back to my sad, dark house.
Tonight we went to a local kosher Chinese restaurant. One of the fortune cookies read:
"Don't let your limitations overshadow your talents."
Lucky numbers 24, 35, 11, 7, 38, 5
Learn Chinese - fruit: shui-guo
"Where are you going with this?" - I'll bet that's what you're thinking. (Right?)
Okay, so here it is: I have a BAD attitude. I tend to focus on what's negative in my life and in my relationships. This is mamesh a plague (darker than the plague of darkness, you better believe it). I REALLY need to work on this. The fortune cookie reminded me - don't let the negative overshadow the positive.
One of my closest friends had problems in her marriage like you wouldn't believe. She worked SO HARD in her marriage to keep it together. What did she do? She shut all her husband's destructive behavior into a little room in the back of her head. Okay, her husband had his problems - mazel tov. She didn't allow those issues to run her life OR her marriage. She kept rolling along like Proud Mary. She worked tirelessly to focus on what was good and what was right.
I'll bet you're thinking now; "So, how did you get the name "Fancy Schmancy Anxiety Maven" anyway?" (That is what you're thinking, right?) Yaakov and I found these little yiddish poetry magnets - you know, the little word magnets that you turn into interesting fridge fodder. It wasn't really yiddish, it was more like yinglish. Anyway, my pieced-together magnet phrase was; "Fancy Schmancy Anxiety Maven. Did she try or just kvetch?" Oh man, I am a kvetcher like you can't believe - but do I try? Because complaining does NOT help you live longer, as Yaakov cheerfully asserts. I don't try hard enough to make meaningful changes in my life, paradigm shifts to engender healing and growth. I just complain. That's gotta change.
If anybody wins the lottery using my lucky Chinese numbers, you know where to find me. I'll be the last house with power in the whole friggin' state.