Saturday, October 01, 2005
I threw one for myself this shabbos - big time.
I don't want to go into details, but I was very upset and very overwhelmed. I started to cry in shul.
Rational Maven: This is wrong, wrong, wrong. Inappropriate and WRONG! Stop crying in shul! You're making a scene! STOP IT!
Pity Party Maven: I don't care, it feels so good to sit here and cry. WAAAAAH!!!
Egomaniac Maven: Everybody's comforting me, I feel so loved.
I kept apologizing to people, and I kept on crying. The show lasted for about half an hour, before I finally got my act together.
Two interesting things came out of it: This mentally ill woman was hovering around me, and I heard her say; "What is she crying for? She's not in charge of anything, G-d is. What does she have to cry about?" So that was pretty heavy. Then, a lady came up to me afterwards and said; "Let me tell you something - I lost a child 25 years ago. It took me a long time to say this, but I can honestly tell you that everything G-d does is good."
That was even heavier.