Thursday, November 03, 2005
Today is our 11th day without power.
I'm trying so hard to stay cheerful. Other people in the neighborhood have gotten power already. A part of me is really happy for them, and another part is a little frustrated and bitter.
This morning I drove to my mom's house, just to get out of mine. It's hot and I don't feel good when I'm there. My mom's house is very cluttered and not child-proof, so that's a big drag. But at least she has air conditioning! When I come here, I feel a little annoyed with my mom - like, what's wrong with you lady? Why can't you have a normal house? I think that growing up in this environment has made me obsessive about neatness. Maybe I'm over-analyzing.
Chaya is in school and Srulik and Rivky are with me, going crazy and destroying Nana's already upside-down house. If they were home, they'd be destroying ours. I feel overwhelmed - trying to control my kids sometimes is like trying to stop Casey Jones' train ride to hell. So I'm feeling like a bad mother on top of everything else.
The good thing is that I'm crashing out every night at around 8:30 - it's dark, and there's nothing else to do. So at least I'm well-rested.