Friday, November 17, 2006
Q - How do you tell a friend when you think they are doing something wrong without them getting angry or thinking that you are judging them?
A - You can’t control your friend’s reaction – but you can consider your “approach” on the subject and you can control your response to their response. The deepness of your friendship will determine whether your friend considers your words helpful or hurtful. And ALWAYS pray before you speak to them to get clarity on whether you are really judging them or trying to help them. (Matt.7:1-5)
I was hitting the "next blog" button, randomly trolling the blogiverse, when I stumbled upon a youth-group website. I read the question, and thought, "Gee, I have the same issue." Then I read the answer and thought, "Wow, what a Jewish response." And then I saw the source.
I remember reading a quote from the Rambam once. I don't remember the exact words, but it went something like; "Accept the truth from whatever source it comes from."
p.s. When I went to pick up Srulik from playgroup today, I found a book by Rabbi Chaim Dalfin on the teacher's shelf. I opened to a passage about criticism:
To give rebuke you must possess three conditions: (a) no preconceived negative feelings, (b) no anger or frustration if the person doesn't listen to you, and (c) concern only for the other person, not for yourself.