Monday, December 11, 2006
I am filled with doubt. It's very hard for me to make choices.
For example: I got rid of my cleaning lady on Mondays and Wednesdays. She is SO slow. She takes about 45 minutes to clean my kids' bathroom. What was she doing in there? I cleaned it in 6, and did a decent job, too. I didn't get to mop yet, but I will. Nonetheless, I ask myself if I made the right choice.
Every decision I make is plagued with doubt. Shopping takes a very long time for me, whether for clothes or groceries. I'll stand in front of a pasta display trying to figure out what noodles work best for us. I'll ponder the price/quality between regular vs. generic dish soap.
I often wonder if I am doing the right things for my kids. Sometimes I'll take action and then immediately ask Yaakov, "Did I do the right thing?" I don't feel confident that the choices I make are okay.
This doubt permeates to the very core of my life. I wonder about vital choices I've made. Other people might say "It's done already, let it go." But not me. I ruminate.
I hate this about myself.
Love, Maven @ 
4 Comments:
At 10:54 PM,
torontopearl said…
Maven, I understand where you're coming from 'cause I'm the exact same way. I think many decisions were made FOR ME when I was young, and so I never became truly knowledgeable in how to make a decision.
No wonder you're called "...Anxiety Maven"!
At 7:16 AM,
Stephanie said…
hi maven..i just hired a company to clean my house every two weeks..if you want the name, email me..they are not expensive and two ppl come. Anyway, if you are interested, email me.
regarding decisions.....most of us are exactly like you!
hugggggggs
and relax
At 1:25 PM,
S.I.L. said…
re making decisions, I think what's the worst that will happen if I choose the wrong... usually, not much and save my anxiety for when there will be a consequence for the a bad choice.
At 8:14 PM,
Ayelet Survivor said…
Your anxiety might be a factor in your indecisiveness
(from Ayelet the shrink)
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