Tuesday, February 13, 2007
After I had Zalman I lost about 25 pounds, doing Weight Watchers on my own. Then I started going back to meetings. All told, I lost about 32 pounds. Now I am in my weight range, and I even reached my personal goal a few weeks ago. But overeating has been dogging me week after week, despite my progress. Last week I gained 5 pounds. I over-ate Every. Single. Night.
A feeling comes over me when I over-eat. Like I get seized by a dybbuk and lose touch with reality. The food doesn't even taste good to me anymore. I can consume hundreds of extra calories, and still my stomach feels like a bottomless pit. It's insane. And then the following day all the feelings come: the exhaustion, the guilt, the despair. Sometimes I think, "why should I bother counting points today? I'm bound to fail."
When I overeat, I feel like I don't deserve to enjoy food. Like that gift certificate my mom gave Yaakov and I for the fancy schmancy restaurant. I don't even want to go - steak is for a girl who behaves herself all week.
I don't know why I'm having such a problem. I've always had a penchant towards overeating, though not to the degree I have now. I've used weight watchers for 5 years to successfully lose and manage my weight. But lately, I'm starting to think I need more help (an OA meeting...?).
It's really getting out of control.
Love, Maven @ 
7 Comments:
At 8:57 PM,
Anonymous said…
must be something in the stars, because I too over ate every day (seemed to happen only late at night after kids were asleep!)and this was after several successful weeks of power walking everyday , 10-12 cups of water a day, adn loads of veggies... whahappened...
At 9:40 AM,
Mrs Andy said…
I've been doing WW at home too. I can totally relate about the over-eating. I just love food too much. One of my problems is that I cannot waste food--at all! So, I feel obligated to eat everything I have on my plate even when my tummy is crying "FULL!!"
So here is what I've been doing:
Eating meals on a salad sized plate. It's been really helpful.
Measuring my portions for dinner with a measuring cup. I'm still learing to eye-ball portions, so this helps me to see what a cup or whatever looks like.
I eat my salad plate full of salad first--that way, I'm less hungry when I get to the main dish. I also drink about 12 oz of water before I sit down to eat.
I'm also trying to snack smart--like I have a goal to eat an apple every day. I've also been eating Kahsi-Go Lean Protien bars and TLC bars about 90mins before dinner--I feel fuller. I don't know if these are something that you could eat--I assume you follow the Kosher laws and I don't know if Kashi products are Kosher--but they are great if you can eat them.
I also chew gum when I'm preparing dinner--I don't take tastes that way.
One thing that I've learned from others in WW, is that you can't beat yourself up too much for slipping. What's done is done, and you can only reslove to do better tomorrow. Anne of Green Gables always said that "tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it." And you have lost alot of weight--30+ lbs is nothing to shy away from.
If you need support and encouragement, you have it from me. Changing habits and not letting the bad habits get back in control has been my struggle, and it's a daily struggle for me. I know another thing for me that has been helpful is prayer. Every day I have to ask G-d to help me with my goals and to help me have the strength to stay on track. I'll say, it's been a faith building experience for sure and it's shown me my weaknesses--but also that I can overcome these weaknesses and that they can be made my strengths.
So, good luck--I'm cheering for you out here in the West! Go Maven!
At 6:11 PM,
Maven said…
anon - yep. i know.
eden - good tips you offered. i'm into measurements and i've used them carefully since i started my WW journey (after the birth of rivky).
i can't eat the kashi things you mentioned, but i'm glad they work for you. the gum, however, i use a lot. it's a cork that keeps other things out of my mouth! and as for your apple-a-day, try wrapping a piece of turkey breast around the apple. it really jazzes up the fruit! i like to slice my apple up and then slice my turkey to the same amount, and then wrap each individual slice of apple with my individual turkey slices. that's something i learned from WW! also i love making sweet potato french fries - slice up a sweet potato into "fries" and give it a quick spritz with olive oil cookin spray, salt, and voila! 3 points of side dish heaven.
thanks for your sisterhood! (and thanks for cheering me on! yay!)
At 8:01 PM,
Wendy said…
It's a constant struggle for me too. This week. Ugh. Can't even tell you what I've eaten. The guilt is overwhelmelming. Hang in there. You can do it. You'll feel better for it too.
At 12:21 PM,
Mrs Andy said…
Maven!
Great snack suggestions, I will try them today, as I'm seriously counting points today. Valentines day was yesterday, and although I did not eat a lick of chocolate, I did make my husband his favorite pie, of which I had the smallest sliver. Then I have a party with some of my girl friends tonight, and although our host is Japanese and will serve healthy fair, who knows what every one else will bring. I'm bringing a fruit salad!
I'd love more WW suggestions, if you have them, or want to write about them. I'm trying not to get too board with the things I choose to buy and eat--it's very challenging to eat healthfully. I can't wait for summer though, our farmer's market will start again, and I will be able to get fresh bread and produce and orgainc meats etc.
As for the gum...I'm seriously keeping Orbit gum in production as is my husband. He chews it so he won't chew his finger nails when he's nervous at his high stress job. So between the two of us, we manage to polish off quite a few packages a week. I chew more gum now than I ever did as a teenager. To quote Willy Wonka: "Chewing gum is really gross, chewing gum I hate the most." Oh well, whatever it takes I guess.
Have a good one! :)
At 6:54 PM,
Dinosaur Mom said…
It's also an anxiety symptom, dear Maven ...
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