Sunday, November 27, 2005
Fancy Schmancy Mafioso Maven

Let me share with you my banner evening:

A lady from FEMA came to assess our house, part of their protocol. For whatever reason she had to walk around our house, check our rooms, use her magic laser thingy. I don't know why we have to go through such a balegan, we just want to get reimbursed for the 600.00 generator we purchased. Anyway, I let Yaakov deal with her. I was being a shlub, and he had all the FEMA paperwork anyway.

So I was basically hiding, listening to her laser her way around. Then she came to my room. Oh man. It was covered in clothes (I don't know what my problem is. I can't face laundry these days). When she left, I came out and realized that my entire house was trashed. I AM SO EMBARRASSED. Evidence of a popcorn party all over the playroom floor. Rivky's ripped up wrapping paper strewn throughout the living room. Picture frames scattered all over the sideboard ("Srulik was here"). Salt all over the dining room table (where the popcorn bowl was overturned). Gevalt! What's she going to think of religious Jews? I hope she visited other frummies in the neighborhood, with normal-looking homes.

I have been using the computer all night and frying my head, when I could be doing more constructive things (like folding laundry...). This computer is worse than a television. It sucks me in and eats my brain.

I'm working my way through a second piece of pumpkin pie.

Here's a joke: Someone goes up to the Godfather and says, "Hey, did you know there's more than 7 million Jehovah's Witnesses worldwide?" "Nah," said Corleone. "There are, I just read an article about it, I'll show you." The Godfather raised an eyebrow and replied; "Remember this, there are NO witnesses." (My dad told me that one - he dressed as the Godfather for halloween.)

Weird parents produce amazing children.


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My Photo Name: Fancy Schmancy Anxiety Maven
Location: Chutz l'aretz - Outside of Brooklyn

fancymaven at gmail dot com