Saturday, November 05, 2005
No power yet. There are power trucks all over the place though, so I hope we'll get it soon. Yaakov managed to hook up the computer to the generator, so here I am.
Last week a weird thing happened to me. A friend in the neighborhood stopped by, to ask if I wanted any kids clothes. I said I was too overwhelmed (without power) to deal with hand-me-downs, but thanks anyway.
Then she said, "I don't want to offend you, but my mother is really hurt by something you said to her. I'm not sure what happened, but you really hurt her feelings." I was flabbergasted. I barely know her mother, and I rarely see her. What could I have said to offend her, I asked? "I'm not really sure, I just know she's upset."
I told her the last time I saw her mother was when the family was walking down the street one shabbos morning, and I walked out my door to wish them all a "gut shabbos." The mother walked by and completely ignored me. I also saw her about a week earlier at a barbecue. She disagreed with me on something, and she really snapped at me. I figured she had issues, and I let it go. Before that I don't know when I saw her last. "She snapped at you and ignored you because she's still upset over what you said to her."
I tried to pick my friend's brain about the situation. Finally she said, "My mother says you embarrassed her in front of Rav Plony." "What?!" I asked. "When? Where?" "She says it was in shul." Firstly, I rarely go to shul. Secondly, I don't think I've ever seen her mother in shul, and certainly not together in front of Rav Plony. "She says that she was trying to find a place to go on yom tov, and that you said to her; "Stop trying to push yourself on people." Then I got ticked off. This lady was rude to me twice, and she had obviously me mistaken for someone else. I raised my voice a little. "What?! I would NEVER say such a thing! She's got me mixed up with someone else - I would never ever say that!" It's true, I would never say that to someone (especially not in front of Rav Plony!). In fact, if I was around her mother when she was looking for a place to be on yom tov, I would have invited her to MY house!
Anyway, I was feeling mad about all this. Then I stopped myself and just stood there. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, and I said to my friend, "It's not right of me to be mad over this. The Ba'al Shem Tov said that when a person gets angry, he forfeits his soul. And another thing, The Ba'al Shem Tov teaches that everything is Hashgocho Protis. So for whatever reason, I had to be a part of this situation." Then I said to my friend, "Let's be chassidim and make a l'chaim."
Out came the cookies, wine, and the little plastic shot glasses. I made a l'chaim to her mother, that she should let go of her pain and anger. I made a l'chaim to all of klal yisroel, that we should love each other unconditionally.
Love, Maven @ 
3 Comments:
At 9:56 PM,
shy_smiley said…
good for you, Maven. What a difficult situation. What is Hashgocho Provis? Sounds like a concept I can relate to.
At 3:38 PM,
Maven said…
Hashgocho Protis is "Divine Providence." Everything that happens comes from G-d.
Still no power - I'm at Mom's house doing laundry again.
At 6:54 PM,
shy_smiley said…
a tought tenet to remember, one I struggle with. See, a mom from our church was killed in a car accident just six days ago. She has two children, both under the age of five.
You're a Paul Simon fan: "G-d only knows / G-d makes His plan / The information's unavailable to the mortal man." (Slip Slidin' Away, I think)
Everything comes from G-d, but that doesn't mean I'm meant to understand everything.
that's a toughie.
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