Thursday, December 01, 2005
My Dad is supposed to come in 2 weeks. You long time readers know that the past 3 trips have been canceled, due to anxiety and/or depression. The last time he was supposed to come was at the end of August.
I love my father very much, and I appreciate him for the person he is. It took me a long time to get to this place emotionally. I accept that he wasn't capable of being a father to me. He and my mom split when I was a baby.
For a long time I resented him and didn't want him in my life. But then I realized that he simply has his mental health issues. I have heard about many bi-polar cases, but I have never known anyone so debilitated by it as Dad. My cousin once said there isn't a drug invented that can give him respite.
He has a full life. Lots of friends. He's a member of the Lions Club and Toastmasters. He has a devoted wife. But when he's down, he'll hide in his room for weeks. He'll cancel trips to see his grandchildren.
Yaakov told me this morning that I should give him a call in a week or so. Tell him how much we're looking forward to his visit. "I can't," I answered, "I think it'll be too much pressure on him."
I hope he can make it this time.