Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Whilst in the thoes of depression on Sunday morning, I got a phone call to go to the old age home with my kids. Could we help with a Chanuka party?
We passed out grape juice and bananas, Chanuka gelt, bread, and dreidlach. We sang songs and looked at the old people. We listened to the rabbi tell a story. We were very, very careful around the menorah.
I couldn't help but be reminded of what I learn in Chassidus. Chase out darkness with light, defeat the yetzer hora by doing mitzvos.
Yesterday I took my kids to a park that has a petting zoo, with goats. Goats! Srulik loved them, walking up to each one and saying, "Hi, goatie." He would pat them and laugh. Rivky was a little freaked out, but she managed. One goat kept trying to eat my shirt. Chaya missed all the fun since she's in school, and next year Rivky will be too. Sigh.
I have 2 little kids at home all day. The sadness lingers, a hovering shadow. It's there, but I'm busy. I'll work it out.
One mitzvah at a time.
Love, Maven @ 
1 Comments:
At 5:15 PM,
Cameron House said…
I have two little kiddos at home too and one at school. One goes to a short program twice a week so sometimes it is just me and one kid. I have anxiety and depression too. I take medication despite my pride. I haven been thinking a lot lately about how we (me, women?) let our feelings overwhelm and immobilize us. I don't do things because of a bad way I feel. But I have been trying to do whatever I need to despite how I feel. And for moms this is hard because our job is inherently emotional and personal. But we still have a job to do- to add positively to our family, to be pleasant, etc. despite what our chemistry or hormones are putting us through. So I really try to think about circumventing how I feel and give it less credence as I approach my day. It is very hard, but rewarding, like the job of a good mother. Courage.
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