Wednesday, January 03, 2007
One of my friends called last night to comment on the "Rivky fiasco." "I know you're into Love and Logic, but can I offer you some "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" advice?" She suggested I take Rivky aside and ask what I could do to help.
So I asked last night when the girls were in bed. Chaya raised her hand. "I know! You could lay out all her clothes, even tights and underwear and shoes." "Would that help you, Rivky?" I asked. She nodded. "What else?" I continued. Chaya's hand shot up again. "I want to hear from Rivky," I said. "Could you help me put my tights on? It's hard to crunch them up over my feet." I said I could.
She got out the door this morning, Baruch Hashem.
I also made some changes. I got out of my room much earlier. I put my personal care aside, telling myself I would do it later. I stayed with her in the room for a bit. I helped Srulik get dressed before the screaming started. Yaakov was available to help.
A couple of weeks ago, someone told me something in shul. She said, "It doesn't matter what all the parenting books say, you have to do what works with that child in that moment." And it's true. I like Love and Logic, but I don't agree with all of it. The bottom line is that the parents are loving, no matter what.
Love, Maven @ 
6 Comments:
At 11:49 AM,
kasamba said…
Too true!
You truly are a maven!
At 5:37 PM,
Anonymous said…
I love the fact that you are so open to other people's ideas, especially your childrens! That is going to be such a help down the line, when they are able to say, "My Ema knows that I am smart, that is why she asks for my imput!" Your future daughter and son in laws thank you!
At 11:17 PM,
Maven said…
my guess is that my future-kids-in law are going to hear all about me in therapy.
At 6:51 AM,
Wendy said…
Sounds like a great plan.
I tried something similar with one of my sons who was having trouble (freaking out) over his homework. He told me that if he could play outside for 1/2 hour before doing his homework, he'd be able to concentrate better. Sounded wacky. But I bought it. And it's working great. Letting the kids have input invests them in the outcome! Yeah!
On another note, I am grateful no one wears tights in my family. Sounds difficult!
At 7:35 AM,
Maven said…
wendy, if one of YOUR kids wore tights you'd have a much bigger problem than homework!
At 9:56 AM,
Anonymous said…
Maven -
As far as the tights go, practice makes perfect :), so once she learns it will be forever.
Put yourself into a bigger picture, and see yourself at her wedding. She'll for certain know how to put her tights on then!!!!!
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