Wednesday, January 03, 2007
One of my friends called last night to comment on the "Rivky fiasco." "I know you're into Love and Logic, but can I offer you some "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" advice?" She suggested I take Rivky aside and ask what I could do to help.
So I asked last night when the girls were in bed. Chaya raised her hand. "I know! You could lay out all her clothes, even tights and underwear and shoes." "Would that help you, Rivky?" I asked. She nodded. "What else?" I continued. Chaya's hand shot up again. "I want to hear from Rivky," I said. "Could you help me put my tights on? It's hard to crunch them up over my feet." I said I could.
She got out the door this morning, Baruch Hashem.
I also made some changes. I got out of my room much earlier. I put my personal care aside, telling myself I would do it later. I stayed with her in the room for a bit. I helped Srulik get dressed before the screaming started. Yaakov was available to help.
A couple of weeks ago, someone told me something in shul. She said, "It doesn't matter what all the parenting books say, you have to do what works with that child in that moment." And it's true. I like Love and Logic, but I don't agree with all of it. The bottom line is that the parents are loving, no matter what.