Tuesday, August 28, 2007
We decided to put Srulik (4) in pre-school this year. It was a big decision for us, but I think it was the right one. Srulik has a lot of "boy" energy. When he's home, he's constantly harrassing the baby, growling, shouting, jumping off the walls, etc. We felt it was best for all of us if he was in a full-day structured program.
Yesterday was orientation. I met his wonderful teachers, and gave them a heads up that he had a seizure. I told them it was nothing to be afraid of, we didn't anticipate another. It happened almost 5 months ago already. The head teacher seemed particularly nervous, but I assured her it was fine. I told her what to look for, what to do, etc.
Today, when I dropped him off, I hovered around. I even peeked in the classroom window before I left, standing outside on my tip-toes. Satisfied that all was well, I left. But then I got a call about 3 hours later: poop. The teacher was already nervous about the seizure thing, and then he goes and poops on her. She didn't sound thrilled. I told her I would come in and take care of it.
I came in, cleaned him up, and did Love and Logic with him. "I'm really sorry buddy, this is a bummer. I need to take you home now." The whole time I was driving I kept coaching myself. Don't make predictions. It's not going to be like this all year. Don't freak out. Just stay in the moment.
I had to go to Wal-Mart for some things for dinner. We're in the parking lot, and he says, "Mommy, I need to make." Too late - another poop. I sighed. We went into the store and I got him into the potty. While he was inside, I called Yaakov and started to cry. I can't handle him home another year. What are we going to do? I saw he was a mess of bathtub proportions. I had him pull up his pants and wash his hands like an OCD champ. And I still had to get dinner stuff!
I was feeling angry and resentful. I wasn't supposed to be doing this, he was supposed to be in school. Meanwhile he was bouncing off the walls, running around, jumping on the shopping cart (doing all the things I put him in school for).
I finally got him home and in the tub. Then I had to start making dinner. And then I had to pick up my other kids. Rivky and Chaya started interrogating. "How come Srulik went home?" "He had an accident." "A big one? A number one or a number two? Did you have to change his pants?" I sighed for the millionth time. "Ask your brother," I said. "He'll tell you if he wants."
Oh, and here's the icing on this crappy cake. When I got home, Dr. F finally called. Srulik's neurologist. He did a follow-up EEG 3 months ago. THREE MONTHS AGO. He finally responded to our persistent phone calls. He's seeing an abnormality. He wants to see Srulik next week.
Wait...what?
For 3 months you don't have the decency to return our calls, and suddenly you need to see him next week? I'm sorry, but that takes some kind of chutzpah.
The only bright spot of my day was the tzedoka collector that came to my door.
Love, Maven @ 
10 Comments:
At 7:29 PM,
Stephanie said…
the worst part of all that was a call from this doc NOW after 3 months....make sure you change neurologists! this guy is a scumbag! Regarding your experience today with your son...been there and done that too. Preschool was a nightmare in the beginning...tantrums..oy don't ask!But it all works out in the end:)Best of luck with your son~~~!!
At 8:03 PM,
Anonymous said…
Even though the doctor called 3 months late, B"H he called...to catch whatever it is (I"YH nothing) is better than not catching it at all!!!
Boys are so slow to learn the potty thing. My litle bro was told he couldn't go to preschool unless he was potty trained, so he held it all day long and then pished as soon as he got out of school! Hang in there Maven!
At 9:26 PM,
Dinosaur Mom said…
What a bummer! I hope Srulik's okay.
The boys are slow on the potty thing. Riley was totally trained but could suddenly get knocked off track by excitement as late as a year ago, at six and a half. Srulik will get it.
At 5:45 AM,
Anonymous said…
You have your hands full! You yourself need some TLC, so {{{{{HUGS}}}}. I don't know what your son's diagnosis is/will be but hopefully something easy to manage. Hashem gives us nisyonot....
Are there any experienced moms around who can give you a little support?
Personally I would get him all diagnosed and taken care of before taking him back to school. There will prob already be some sort of "resentment" towards him, even the most righteous teacher has those moments (you wrote she was not thrilled to hear about his seizure... add the poop to that and it could be nasty). It would be a shame for him to be branded so early in his career. He's only 4, still a baby. Just remember: each of our children is perfect in their own way!!!
At 6:51 AM,
Stephanie said…
ack ..that reminds me..my son wet his bed a lot for a long time. Til atleast 5 there were accidents.
At 9:32 AM,
Mrs Andy said…
I'm sorry about the potty misadventures.
My very good friend's daughter had a simialr thing happen with the start of pre-school. She changed routines, and her toilet training was off for a while. Can you ask his teachers to just take him to the restroom ever hour or so? That might help. They must know that pre-school age children might have accidents. You can't beat yourself up over this!!
As for your neurologist, that's very bad form--3 months?? I would express my dissatisfaction and ask how you all can resolve this for next time, otherwise find a new doctor.
At 10:30 AM,
Anonymous said…
I wish you could see how you are being blessed by Hashem every moment of your life, by your children and their need for you, their Ima. Can't you for just one moment see yourself from somebody else's eyes? You're LUCKY Maven. You're Blessed. All these experiences that you see as negative and terrible are to make you reveal your light, to help bring forth Maschiah. I thought you were supposed to be RELIGIOUS!!!! Wisdom, Knowledge, Understanding, Love, Judgement, Beauty. To envelop with every essence of your being. To bring forth joy by being joyous. What a wonderful blessing it is to have a stranger want to help you build your Sukkah. What a blessing!
Why are you so afraid about the way she is dressed? Hoave you heard of the film Ushpizin http://www.ushpizin.com/
It is about an Orthodox couple in Jerusalem and the strangers who come into their Sukkah. A brilliant and moving film.
You should find another pediatric neurologist.
Maven, Maven, where is the Joy in your being religious? I'm a Jew, I'm not religious, I'm spiritual. I have no family left, was not able to have children, never married etc. etc. But I honour Hashem with my being every day. I honour what I have. I mourn my losses.
This week's Parasha KiTavo gives us the Blessings and the Curses. Each one of us has to transform the curse into a blessing. Each one of us has to remember our Amalek.
Peace be with you Maven.
Shalom
At 3:30 PM,
Stephanie said…
anonymous said such beautiful words...too bad shes anon
At 4:56 PM,
Ayelet Survivor said…
Maven, I feel for you. I actually find Anon's comments a bit grating. It's natural to feel frustrated that Srulik's not entirely trained, and the neurologist's behavior is really beyond the pale.
I also know, however, that you always rise to a challenge. Even though you shouldn't HAVE to, I know you will overcome all this.
At 5:13 PM,
Mrs Andy said…
Ya, it's easy to chastise another, but when you are stuck with the poopy pants in the WalMart, you are not going to feel like it's a blessing. I don't think poopy pants are a blessing, they are just a mess.
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