Friday, October 07, 2005
It's time for some self-examination.
Last night I was on the phone with Canada-friend, and we were talking about kashrus.
When I lived in Brooklyn, I would buy meat that was under hashgocho "X". It was easily available, that was the community standard, that's what I bought. Here, in chutz l'aretz, I generally buy fleishigs under hashgocho "Y". Basically everybody in shul eats "Y," and I feel comfortable eating it too. "X" isn't so readily available, and it's much more expensive.
Canada-friend eats only "X." I felt a stab of pain. Would Canada-friend not eat in my home? Is the friend that I am always "on the same page with" now a chapter ahead?
I feel disgusted with myself. I'm not sad over the fact that I have "lowered" my kashrus standards, G-d forbid. It's not coming from a place of piousness. I feel sad that I'm not "keeping up." It's coming from a place of ego.
Canada-friend also has a mashpia whom she is close with. When I lived in Brooklyn, I had a mashpia too. My mashpia lived right across the street from me. If I ever needed to talk she would walk over, or vice versa. Now that I live "out of town," it's harder to connect with her. I have "out of town" issues that I don't know if she could relate to. I don't have a mashpia now, and I am sad. I need one.
I would ask the mashpia about the hashgocho issue.
I would ask her to help me stop being so selfish.
Love, Maven @ 
1 Comments:
At 9:08 AM,
Anonymous said…
Im Yirtseh H" Moshiach will finally hurry the heck up and GET HERE NOW!! So that we can all remain tirelessly and POWERFULLY united, and never have to worry about these many really overwhelming and perturbing issues- which many times we all have to sweat out "on our own"...
Post a Comment
<< Home