Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Nobody told me there'd be days like this...

Having another kid has made everything more hectic. Accounting for Zalman's frequent needs (on top of everyone elses') puts a new spin on our already-wacky life. It's hard to get stuff done. Like now Zalman is napping, and I'm thinking; I should be frantically cleaning my house! But since I cannot disappoint you - my few (but faithful) cadre of readers - blog I must.

Yesterday was a banner day. I had to go to my midwife for my 6 week appointment. Chaya and Rivky had no camp, so they were on top of my head all morning. Chaya stands 1 millimeter away from me and grills me with anatomy questions when I'm trying to nurse. Rivky wants this project or that thing when I'm trying to nurse. Everybody has to have food - despite having eaten 20 minutes ago - WHEN I'M TRYING TO NURSE (damn it). I was on a time schedule, had to get to the midwife. Rivky, for the gazillionth time, please put on your tights and shoes!

We finally get out of the house and had the car drama. Rivky dawdles in the car and then takes forever to buckle her car seat. Srulik always plays games about getting buckled in and it's a nightmare. Meanwhile it's 96 degrees outside and I have an infant in the car...

We get to the midwife and it's a closed-door, no-kids-present appointment (I won't fascinate you with the scintillating details). I put all the kids in the play area, but that's not good enough for Srulik. He's kicking the exam room door with his feet. "Mommy, help me with this toy." "Mommy, Rivky's bothering me." "Okay honey," I call from the table, "I'll be with you as soon as I can." Yep...as soon as the speculum is far, far away from me, I'd be more than thrilled to help you.

Oh, and vampire midwifery-student was there. She had to stick my finger for blood. I figured, lightning doesn't strike twice, right? So she draws the blood and starts draining my finger into this little plastic tab. It had to go into a little machine, and the blood had to land inside a depression in the plastic. So she's squeezing the life out of me, laughing and smiling all the while. "Jeez, I can't seem to get the blood in the well! Don't worry Maven, you've got plenty of blood here. We'll get it." She didn't get it.
Guess which finger she stuck? The one I wanted to stick at her. "I'm really sorry, that's never happened to me before." Like hell! I thought - It happened 4 months ago when you stuck my arm twice, freakazoid! And you said the same thing then!

After the appointment I had to feed Zalman. Other kids arrived. It became a party I couldn't referee. Kids throwing balls, running everywhere. I looked at my clock and thought, Dear Lord. I have to take these hyper kids home and then get them out again for the upsherinish we're going to tonight? I have to go through the whole car drama again? I could not endure the thought. So I parked myself on the couch and decided to drive straight to the upsherinish from the birthing center. I didn't ask the staff if they minded that we were staying - I wasn't interested in their answer. I turned on videos for them that we don't have at home. I notice that Elmo always refers to himself in third person. "Elmo wants to be your friend." Is that normal? I also turned on a Strawberry Shortcake video, which thrilled Chaya 'til no end. I heard someone on the video say, "Something's rotten in Berry Land." A reference to Hamlet?

Then the rains came. And didn't stop. It was 5:30, we had to go, we'd been there for three (yes, three!) hours already. I left the kids inside and waded out to my car in the flooded parking lot. My sandals and stockings were drenched. I pulled the car around, got everybody in (with drama, of course). Then Zalman decides to scream. The whole ride home. With heavy traffic.

But the good news is, my feet dried on the trip. And the upsherinish was a blast! (No Rivky, you cannot have a third cup of soda.)


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My Photo Name: Fancy Schmancy Anxiety Maven
Location: Chutz l'aretz - Outside of Brooklyn

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