Sunday, January 14, 2007
Every erev shabbos I try to call to a friend I don't get to speak with much. And this past Friday, I discussed this with the friend I called. We agreed: there's many people we like, admire, and enjoy. But, practically speaking, we have to stick with our chevra.
The woman I spoke with I like A LOT. She's funny, bold, and generous. She's also touchy-feely, like me. She confided that she's having a major health crisis.
Heart: "I'm going out right now to buy her a card and flowers."
Mind: No way! It's erev shabbos! You are so not!
Heart: "Yeah, but wouldn't she love getting flowers and a card, all things considered?"
Mind: Aren't you being impulsive? That's not the way a chossid behaves. And what's your real motivation, anyway? Are you really wanting to get her those things to further cement your friendship? Isn't this really all about you?
Heart: Okay, maybe there's a little selfishness going on here. But still, I think it would be a really nice thing. And don't we learn in chassidus that it's important to do the right thing, even if the intentions are wrong?
Heart and Mind: Off to Publix!
So I get there and I spent a really long time picking a card. Finally, I found the right one. It read something like, "Even though now is a hard time, and you're so anxious, know that your Higher Power is protecting you, yada yada." It was new-agey, yet very right on. I put it in the shopping basket. Then, I found the perfect bouquet. Lively, pretty, healthy. Just right for my friend.
And then I heard her. On her cell phone. Right there, not two feet away from me. Examining the avocados. I snuck up behind her and rubbed her back. (Mind: you damn well better hope that's her!) She turned and smiled. "You know why I'm here?" I said, "I'm buying you flowers and a card!" "Really, honey." "Yes! Here they are!" She laughed. She read the card and admired the flowers. We gave each other a delicious hug, the kind that involves back-rubbing. And then I put the flowers back in the bucket and the card back on the shelf.
She had received them, after all.
Love, Maven @ 
5 Comments:
At 2:50 AM,
Anonymous said…
Just blog-jumping I ran into your absolutely delightful stories. Are you Chabad? I used to have a good friend, many years ago who was. I'm Sikh, so we made a rather odd pair, but since we both saw tolerance as a virtue, we got along well, but lost touch over the years.
I survived the antiSikh riots (The Battle of Delhi) in 1984, being nearly fatally wounded and seeing my husband, my son and two brothers murdered in front of me. I have somewhat recovered with the help of a gentleman who survived Auschwitz. He initiated me into a club none of us wanted to be members of...and why am I writing all this now?
He taught me to put things into perspective. Whatever kindness you can do, do it!! There is enough pain in the world, let's alleviate whatever we can whenever we can. Reading your blog, I think you're that kind of person. Thanks.
An after thought: We Sikhs never cut our hair and I think you never grow yours, so I guess we have a kind of hair thing in common.
Mai
http://mai-sometimes.blogspot.com
At 9:01 AM,
Maven said…
Dear Sim,
Thanks for your lovely comment. The fact that people from all walks of life can connect is one of the things that really enchants me about blogging.
I am so very sorry you were a witness to your family's murders. Saying "sorry" sounds so cheap, but I don't know what else to say.
I know Sikhs have 5 things that they always do (or wear?). I know about the hair growing thing, and isn't there a silver knife or comb involved somewhere?
Yes, I am a Chabad-nik. We are allowed to grow our hair.
Just as an interesting side note, my grandfather sponsored a poor family from India and brought them to the U.S. many years ago.
At 1:23 PM,
torontopearl said…
Maven, what a fabulous story. It would make for a wonderful Hallmark TV commercial!
You davka did the right thing...see how it brought you and your friend together emotionally, mentally and physically. You are a wonderful person to know...and I'm sure you didn't just do it for the "mitzvah points" but just because it reflects the type of person you are.
BRAVA!!!!!
At 5:58 PM,
Wendy said…
I love this. Nothing is as nice as an unexpected card & flowers.
At 6:07 PM,
Maven said…
Pearlie: thanks!
Wendy: I agree.
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