Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Yesterday was a special day on many levels, but I'll focus on the massage appointment.
I got there a little early and sat in the waiting room. There was a box of "growth and enlightenment" cards by Deepak Chopra that I shuffled through. Here are two cards - variations on a theme - that resonated with me:
"When I am independent of the good or bad opinion of others, I stand strong in my own Divine power."
"When I recognize and acknowledge my personal power, I no longer need to feel superior or inferior to anyone else."
(In another post I will elaborate on how those ideas touch my life.)
The massage therapist appeared and whisked me into her magic room. She started working, and I vowed to keep silent - I wanted focus my energy on the massage. This lasted about 10 minutes. We started talking about chiropractic care and I related to her the first time I ever saw a chiropractor. I had witnessed a horrific accident, and then started experiencing severe back pain soon after. (I may some day blog about what I experienced, and I may not. It was very traumatizing.)
I had opened the conversation to talk about my chiropractic care, but then started to talk about the terrible event. How I went into shock, and wasn't able to integrate what I saw. How I had a spiritual experience afterwards, when a messenger came from "the other side" to help me.
I told her that I knew massage had the potential to unblock emotional trauma, and I thanked her for being a listening ear. It happens that the center she works in has other health care practitioners. There's an endocrinologist, an acupuncturist, and a psychologist there, as well. So she told me that she's had some long-term clients who come with the same muscular blockage, over and over again. For some reason she wasn't able to massage them out. She told me she's asked her client's permission to bring in the psychologist, to talk a little while she's massaging. While the client and the psychologist are talking, she massages her way through the physical blockage and they all get it out together. "You can't believe the stuff that comes out," she added.
I feel really safe with her. I feel safe enough to let her touch me, and safe enough to talk to her. And after the massage, when I drove home, I had another release. I apologized to someone I hurt. It's not appropriate for me to contact this person at this time, so I just had a conversation with her in my car. I told her how sorry I was for what I did. I apologized to myself for not having the emotional maturity to exit the relationship when I should have.
The whole experience was beautiful.