Friday, December 14, 2007
I've long held a notion about the power of beauty. It's undeniable. It can be a force for change. I can't really explain myself well on this matter - it's a strong feeling, though.
So there's a woman in my community who's a total knock-out. She's also immodest. She wears short skirts (with slits), tight shirts, and no socks or stockings. Her wig is long and flowing, like a shampoo poster girl's. Every time I see her I think, "Man, she is really something." You cannot help but be affected by her!
Now let me backtrack a little and talk some chassidus. There's a concept of, "you spot it, you got it." In other words, if you notice something about someone else, likely it's a problem you have yourself. You might say, "Well how can a person fail to notice certain things about another?" Aha! So the concept goes a little further: If what you notice makes you angry, you can be certain it's a trait you share.
To be fair; I personally feel I have modesty issues. They don't manifest in clothing, but my thoughts could use some work. This lady doesn't anger me, she intrigues me. Does she realize her power? How does she feel when she looks in the mirror? Does she dress that way knowingly? And then I wonder, am I the only woman who notices her? I can't imagine that men don't. How does her husband feel that she dresses this way?
There's a Jewish concept of "Kol hakevuda bas melech penima" - "All the beauty of a king's daughter is within." In other words, a woman's beauty should be private, and precious, and shared with the appropriate person at the appropriate time. Yet when I see this woman, I feel like a total idiot.
Does the raging power of feminine beauty trump all?
Love, Maven @ 
4 Comments:
At 1:37 PM,
yingerman said…
And you say this as a female.
Can you imagine what the males are thinking?
At 2:50 PM,
Anonymous said…
you wrote
"All the beauty of a king's daughter is within." In other words, a woman's beauty should be private, and precious..
i think there are two ways to read that.
when it refers to me, i should understand it - be tznius, dont let ureself be objectified.
when it refers to others, dont judge her, dont get blinded by her behavior, her real beauty is inside. we dont know her struggle.
and yingerman, when you read it it means - stop looking :)
At 10:32 AM,
Mrs Andy said…
I don't know if feminie beauty trupms all, but I do agree that it can have a powerful impact on things.
At 9:06 PM,
Anonymous said…
This is only one manifestation of the power of Western culture, where the external image has tremendous power, where people will destroy their physical insides (not to mention their spiritual insides, in an attempt to squash cognitive dissonance) to create a shell that is appealing to others, and therefore to themselves. It is our goal to help our children grow up with a vision of themselves that does not depend on needing the approval of others who can not see past the image, so that they can achieve their true potential and be their true selves.
As for the women who can not see past this barrier to themselves, we can only show them by example that there is another way. It makes me sad to see women be this way, but I do believe that there is an aspect of power in it, power over men and power to get 'by' with less real work. I also think that, unfortunately, it is sometimes a sad but real reaction to men's criteria for what they value and express approval for in women. The current incidence of eating disorders in the community, the pressure to lose weight for dating, has a remarkable influence on the weight (no pun intended) women give to external beauty, and to whatever they have to do to get it!
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