Tuesday, December 06, 2005

When I was engaged someone told us about a therapist/writer named Harville Hendrix. He wrote a book called "Getting the Love You Want."

One of the main themes of the book is that we marry a person who resonates with us. Someone familiar. Someone who reminds us, on some level, of our parents or primary caretakers.

This person then - ideally - helps us heal from our childhood wounds and pain. The healthy marriage is one where we feel safe to work out our "stuff." The marriage becomes a tikkun (healing).

So today I had this deep thought (while I was throwing out some garbarge - a metaphor?). "Am I contributing to Yaakov's Life-Healing?" It struck me very deeply. I don't think I've been doing such a great job lately.

Yaakov loves me unconditionally - a very deep and forgiving love. I'm not emotionally mature enough (yet) to love him like that. If I could, surely I'd be a balm for all that ever ailed him.

Please G-d, help me grow and heal that I might love so fully. Help me love You.

Signing off in tears.


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My Photo Name: Fancy Schmancy Anxiety Maven
Location: Chutz l'aretz - Outside of Brooklyn

fancymaven at gmail dot com