Tuesday, December 06, 2005
When I was engaged someone told us about a therapist/writer named Harville Hendrix. He wrote a book called "Getting the Love You Want."
One of the main themes of the book is that we marry a person who resonates with us. Someone familiar. Someone who reminds us, on some level, of our parents or primary caretakers.
This person then - ideally - helps us heal from our childhood wounds and pain. The healthy marriage is one where we feel safe to work out our "stuff." The marriage becomes a tikkun (healing).
So today I had this deep thought (while I was throwing out some garbarge - a metaphor?). "Am I contributing to Yaakov's Life-Healing?" It struck me very deeply. I don't think I've been doing such a great job lately.
Yaakov loves me unconditionally - a very deep and forgiving love. I'm not emotionally mature enough (yet) to love him like that. If I could, surely I'd be a balm for all that ever ailed him.
Please G-d, help me grow and heal that I might love so fully. Help me love You.
Signing off in tears.