Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Love and Logic

One of you commented once (anonymously) that I should look into the "Love and Logic" approach regarding child-rearing.

There was a L & L workshop given at Chaya's school a few months ago. The speaker was a Lubavitcher therapist, who is also a trained L & L instructor. I was really impressed with the workshop, and with him as a speaker. His wife and I - funnily enough - used to be roomates in yeshiva.

I knew he did private L & L consultations, so I called him and signed on for a 6 week private program. He came to my home Monday night for the first time and met with Yaakov and I.

He is familiar with the "spirited child" model, and I told him - Baruch Hashem - my kids are all spirited to the max! One thing he affirmed is that spirited children crave empowerment. They want control. Sometimes disciplining the spirited child can be extra-challenging.

So he gave us a great tool: offer choices for everything. "Would you like the red bowl or the white bowl?" "Would you like to wear the green skirt or the blue one?" "Would you like to hop to the car or skip to the car?" This way, we are filling their "control bank," and making them feel empowered (often!) throughout the day. Then, when we need to set firm boundaries, the child will be more compliant because her control needs have been so frequently satisfied.

What a good idea! I look forward to sharing more parenting tips with you as our sessions continue.


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My Photo Name: Fancy Schmancy Anxiety Maven
Location: Chutz l'aretz - Outside of Brooklyn

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